Deep Space Pioneers

Where were you on the 2^nd March 1972 (some refs state 3^rd of March) – the day Pioneer 10 (AKA Pioneer F) was launched into space on its epic journey to Jupiter and its search for alien life? 

Thirty-seven years – is a lifetime away.  Imagine the crudity of the ‘ancient technology’!  Big – clunky – cutting edge in the broadest sense of the word!  Then consider the mathematical beauty of the successes achieved – and how it was so painstakingly accomplished.  As has been said many times – today, we have more computing power in a home PC than was available to such complex cosmic endeavours. 

Launched atop an Atlas/Centaur/TE364-4 three-stage launch vehicle; Pioneer 10 carried only eleven instruments – as follows:  1. Plasma Analyzer (P/L) 2. Charged Particle Instrument 3. Cosmic Ray Telescope 4. Geiger Tube Telescope 5. Trapped Radiation Detector (P/L) 6. Meteoroid Detector (ENC) (F) 7. Asteroid-Meteoroid Experiment (ENC)(F) 8. Ultraviolet Photometer 9. Imaging Photopolarimeter (ENC) (P/L) 10.  Infrared Radiometer (F) and 11. A Helium Vector Magnetometer. 

This very limited and specific collection of instruments sent back more useful information in its working lifetime than could of ever been hoped for; leading the way for all future deep space exploration.

For the record – the third stage booster was required to gain a speed of 51,810 kph to enable the unit to complete its flight to Jupiter.  At the time, this made Pioneer 10 the fastest man-made body to leave Earth – at a speed that would take it past the Moon in just eleven hours; traversing 80 million kilometres of space and crossing the orbit of Mars in only twelve weeks.  

Measuring just 2.9 metres in length, and 2.7 metres at its widest point, Pioneer 10 weighed in at just 258 kgs.  Electrical power was supplied by four radioisotope thermoelectric generators (RTGs), each providing just 155 watts of power at launch – decaying to 140w in transit to Jupiter.  The spacecraft required just 100w to power all systems. 

An RTG is a nuclear electrical generator that draws its power from the process of radioactive decay!  Heat released by the decay process is converted into electricity via the Seebeck effect (an explanation of which would take us down the murky road to the magic world of semiconductors).  Put simply, an RTG is a form of battery; a power source long associated with space probes, satellites and even terrestrial unmanned scientific facilities.  The most obvious drawback to their use is the requirement to safely contain the radioisotopes long after the useful ‘battery life’ has been expended.

By July 15^th 1972, Pioneer 10 entered the Asteroid Belt – an area 280 million kms wide and 80 million kms thick – located approximately between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter.  The thinly spaced objects within the Asteroid Belt travel at speeds estimated to be 20 km/sec and the objects within, vary in size from mere dust particles to rocks the size of the state of Queensland!  Whilst other spacecraft have since negotiated this area of space, at the time scientist were unsure if Pioneer 10 would be able to safely navigate its way across this possibly terminal minefield.

By the 4^th of December, 1973, Pioneer 10 made its first fly-by of the gas giant, Jupiter, achieving a dream first approved in February 1969.  The earliest mission objectives had been outlined as follows: explore the interplanetary medium beyond the orbit of Mars – investigate the environment within the Asteroid Belt and assess the belt’s potential hazards to future outer planet missions – explore the locality around Jupiter – and make a close approach Jupiter to gather information on the possible effects of Jovian radiation on spacecraft instrumentation.

In just twenty-one months the textbook mission had been completed beyond all expectations – but the story continued for the tiny probe well beyond this point as for many years a weak signal continued to be traced by the Deep Space Network.  Right up to 1997 and onward, the probe was employed to train flight controllers on how to obtain radio signals from space!  The final successful telemetry – the technology that allows remote measurement and reporting – from Pioneer 10, was on April 27^th 2002.

Amazingly, on the 23^rd of January 2003, what is recognised as the very last extremely weak signal was received from the still operating probe.  At that time Pioneer 10 was estimated to be 12 billion kilometres from Earth (80 au).  A further contact effort was made on February 7^th 2003 – but this attempt was unsuccessful. 

On March 4th, 2006 – the last time the probe’s antenna would be acceptably aligned with Earth – yet one last attempt at contact was made.  No response from Pioneer 10 was forthcoming.  It is thought that sheer distance and lack of power were the reasons for the eventual loss of contact, rather than the destruction of the probe.  It should also be noted that the probe must first be contacted by NASA before it will respond and send back data.

When its last position was recorded, Pioneer 10 was headed in the general direction of Aldebaran, in the constellation of Taurus.  At an estimated speed of 2.6 au per year – assuming Aldebaran has relative zero speed – Pioneer 10 should reach this distant destination in approximately 2 million years.

Pioneer 10 and its twin, Pioneer 11 (AKA Pioneer G), may yet possibly achieve one last duty if they are ever intercepted by ‘alien life’.  Both vehicles carry the famous gold anodized aluminum plaques - suitably shielded from erosion and cosmic dust - which depict the human race in all its naked glory.  Further information – should the extraterrestrials be adventurous or interested enough – and have technology well in advance of that presented to them in the shape of the defunct Pioneer probes – provides the exact location of our ‘Blue Island’ world.

Refs:

Encyclopedia, W. T. F. (2010). Radioisotope thermoelectric generator. Retrieved January 1, 2011, from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioisotope_thermoelectric_generator.

Encyclopedia, W. T. F. (2010). Thermoelectric effect. Retrieved January 1, 2011, from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seebeck_effect#Seebeck_effect.

Hamilton, C. J. (N/A). Pioneer 10 & 11. Retrieved December 31, 2010, from NASA Houston TX 77058: http://www.solarviews.com/eng/pn10-11.htm.

Lakdawalla, E. (2006). The final attempt to contact pioneer. Retrieved January 3, 2011, from The Planatary Society: http://www.planetary.org/blog/article/00000477/.

NASA. (2010, April 1). Pioneer 10 & 11. Retrieved December 31, 2010, from NASA  Science Missions: http://science.nasa.gov/missions/pioneer-10-11/.

Stenger, R. (2002, December 1). A distant pioneer whispers to earth. Retrieved January 3, 2011, from CNN - Science and Space: http://edition.cnn.com/2002/TECH/space/12/18/pioneer.contact/index.html.

Today, S. (2003). The pioneers are way out there after 30 years. Retrieved December 31, 2010, from Space Today Online: http://www.spacetoday.org/SolSys/ThePioneers.html.

Ward, M. (2001, April 30). Distant probe phones home. Retrieved January 1, 2011, from BBC News: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/1305068.stm.

 

Comprehending the Incomprehensible

The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible. A. Einstein

                                                           

Last month, I made a vain attempt to define energy; as an adjunct to that article I felt it worthwhile exploring human scientific thought and development generally. The human pursuit of understanding the natural world and all that surrounds us culminates with the ultimate answers to the ultimate questions: ‘Where did it all come from’?  And - ‘what the heck is it all about’?

During an Astronomy, Forum, Prof. Fed Watson mentioned in passing the recent advances in technology that allows never before dreamed of results in the areas of amateur and professional astronomy and cosmology.  It seems difficult to believe that for thousands of years, the human race had such an extremely unrealistic view of the universe, and our place in it.  Yet, without the historically flawed models, the assumptions, and wildly mythological structures, much of what we take for granted today, might remain cloaked in mystery.  It is this human ability to build upon accumulated knowledge – sometimes renewed after a lengthy hiatus – or even transferred across racially differing societies – that facilitates genuine scientific progress.

Human curiosity is not culturally exclusive; from the earliest times, every culture, worldwide, has had some form of mythical version of the creation story.  Each ‘creation story’ mirrored the situation and society from which it originated; and each story symbolised the ‘supreme truth’ within its own society.  Scientific progress would not truly begin until many of these ancient traditions, bound up in folklore, superstition  and myth, started to decline. 

In trying to make some sense of order in the various models that have impacted the most on today’s perception of the universe, I think one of the earliest notable hypotheses is the ‘Mesopotamian Model’.  This model was developed by the inhabitants of the Nile and Tigris-Euphrates valleys.  The Earth was depicted as flat, and surrounded by lofty mountains.  The sky was a solid dome upon which the stars were placed, and water canopies emptied their rainfall.  The planets, the Sun and the Moon, were all imagined to be relatively small, and guided by celestial forces.  Interestingly perhaps, aspects of this model are offered in the Bible (Joshua 10 & Psalm 19). 

Whilst still containing strong mystical overtones, over time the Mesopotamian Model was adopted and modified by other civilizations.  Around the 6^th century BC early theorists such as Anaximander (possibly also the founder of evolutionary theory) and Xenophanes appeared on the scene, and whilst their explanations of the natural world were still far removed from modern ideas, they nevertheless did develop theories that didn’t rely on supernatural elements for support.  These ancient philosophers are recognised as the first true cosmologists, by virtue of the fact that they were genuinely concerned with the scientific study of the physical universe and its genesis.  The ancient Greek word – kosmeo – from which our modern word – cosmology – is derived, literally translates into - to order or to organise.

Every authentic scientific premise must make a prediction about the universe that can be measured and observed; history recognises Pythagoras as the man who made such scientific enterprise possible through mathematics.  His successors developed and enhanced his ideas, allowing science to become a sophisticated and authoritative discipline capable of some amazing early achievements.  Amongst these early achievements – without which later developments would have been impossible – were the measuring of the dimensions of the Earth – the Moon – and the Sun; and the distances between them.  To quote the author, Simon Singh: “these measurements were a milestone in the history of astronomy, representing as they do the first tentative steps on the road to understanding the entire universe.”

At this point it is worth taking a closer look at how some of these early measurements were achieved, and the human logic that lay behind such discoveries.  Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) is acknowledged as being the first to write down a complete set of rules for logical analysis.  Whilst earlier philosophers had merely suspected the Earth was a globe – by drawing on their observations of the Sun and the Moon; Aristotle established these assumptions as fact.

  

He observed many eclipses, and obviously recorded his observations over time.  He noticed that during a lunar eclipse, the shadow of the Earth on the Moon was circular.  Naturally, a flat round object may also cast such a shadow.  However, Aristotle noted the shadow remained circular no matter in which direction the eclipse took place – in Aries, Capricorn, Gemini or Sagittarius.  It followed; the only object capable of casting a circular shadow from all directions is a sphere!   Thus, based on his empirical research, Aristotle affirmed the Earth was indeed spherical. 

Eratosthenes (276 BC-195 BC) is reportedly the first person to have used the word ‘geography’; he also ‘invented’ a system of latitude and longitude.  More impressively, he accurately measured the size of the Earth.  His measurement of about 39,250 km was accurate to 2% compared to modern measurements.  How he achieved this feat with the most basic tools available is testimony to human ingenuity. 

Whilst studying at a library, Eratosthenes learned of a water-well with extraordinary properties.  This well was situated near the township of Syene (near modern day Aswan).  Each year – at noon on the 21^st June – the day of the summer solstice - the Sun shone directly into the well, illuminating it right to the bottom.  Being an erudite chap, Eratosthenes realised for this to happen, the Sun must be directly overhead.  Eratosthenes, who resided in Alexandria, was aware that such an event didn’t happen in his locality.  Being aware of the Earth’s curvature, he reasoned that the Sun could not be overhead in Alexandria and Syene (several hundred km south) simultaneously; he decided to exploit his discovery in an attempt to establish the actual size of the Earth.  Today – we call this a ‘problem-solving approach’ – in which we take a problem and reduce it to simpler terms before making extrapolations to arrive at our final conclusions.

It is not within the scope of this article to explore too deeply how Eratosthenes arrived at his final results with little more than a stick and a brain; but by coordinating his readings to occur at the same time as the Sun was overhead and shining down the well in Syene, he placed a stick in the ground in Alexandria.  At the appropriate time, Eratosthenes recorded the angle of the shadow cast by the stick at mid-day.  Having established the size of the angle – 7.2° - the rest of the equation became academic.  Using the distance between the two towns, he extrapolated his results to estimate the distance around the Earth.  Having established the size of the Earth – it then became possible to estimate the size of both the Moon and the Sun – and their distances from Earth!

 

I can only reiterate this is: ‘a man – with a stick and a brain’!  Human resourcefulness leaves me quite flabbergasted – as does its frequent lapses in common sense!

In fairness to earlier philosophers, it was they who laid much of the foundations relating to the measurements mentioned above.  However, there was always one missing value – the size of the Earth.  Now this value was available, the remaining values were a matter of course.  Using Earth’s shadow cast on the Moon during a lunar eclipse, it didn’t take Eratosthenes long to estimate the Moon’s size as about one-quarter that of Earth.  Thus geometry, logic, and empirical research began to pave the way to genuine scientific discovery.  Measurements, sizes, distances, all relating to our own solar system became firmly established.  As indicated earlier, these measurements were remarkably accurate and have stood the test of time and advancing technology. 

Other suppositions being made about the universe at that time were not as accurate.  The influences of mythology and religion were, and still are, deeply entrenched in the human psyche.  These suppositions and the logic that lay behind them will be explored in later articles.

Refs:

Administrator, D. (2005, March 6). The ptolemaic system - a short history. Retrieved March 13, 2011, from The Flat Earth Society Forum: http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=8c20b1a28c0eefa7dfb2f4a61e3326d5&topic=14.msg22#msg22.

Encyclopedia, W. T. F. (1999). Eratosthenes. Retrieved March 15, 2011, from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eratosthenes.

JJ, O. E. A. (1999, January 1). Pythagoras of Samos. Retrieved March 14, 2011, from School of Mathematics University of St Andres Scotland: http://www-history.mcs.st-and.ac.uk/Biographies/Pythagoras.html.

Singh, S. (2005). Big bang. London: Harper Perennial.

Nuclear Fission v Nuclear Fusion

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."  J. Robert Oppenheimer

David M Jones

A couple of years ago, I started to read a hefty, but very readable book entitled: ‘The Making of the Atomic Bomb’.  As I waded through page after page relating to the development of the science and physics that would eventually bring about the birth of the nuclear age, I marvelled at how difficult it was - and no doubt, still is - for mankind to create that which occurs naturally in nature.

The logistics of bringing about an environment in which a nuclear chain-reaction can begin seemed hardly feasible.  Many scientists considered the task might be physically impossible.  The conditions required for a nuclear chain-reaction to occur must be akin to those that exist only in the stars. 

My own curiosity eventually took me off on a tangent and I started to do a little research.  Our earthly scientists sought how to split uranium atoms to bring about nuclear fission; I soon discovered this was not the process which occurs in the stars.  On the contrary, stars, including our sun, create energy as a by-product of nuclear fusion!   What was the difference I wondered?  A little more reading revealed that our atom bomb and its fission reaction is achieved through splitting uranium atoms by means of an implosion.  That implosion results in a central core of fissionable material being placed under tremendous pressure – squeezing the metal core to less than half its previous volume.  Under those conditions a fission chain-reaction is possible.  This, I assumed, must at least compare briefly to natural conditions occurring under massive gravitational pressures.

FUSION

For fusion to work, extremely high energies are needed to fuse the nuclei together. This is needed to overcome the electrical repulsion (known as the coulomb barrier) between two positively charged nuclei, so that they get close enough to have the strong nuclear force bind the nuclei. This nuclear force has an effective range of around 10^-15 meters, which is why fusion occurs most easily in stars, where a high density and temperature environment exists. The density and temperature are the primary factors in determining the probability of the nucleons fusing in the star... Most of the energy generated within the Sun is created from a sequence of reactions that "burns" hydrogen into helium, known as the proton-proton reaction. (Team Thinkquest, 1998)

The article goes on to describe how, in our sun, the reaction occurs in the innermost region, where density is increased to one-hundred times the density of water on Earth.  At this density, temperatures soar to approximately fifteen million K (27,000,000 degrees F).  Hydrogen atoms are stripped of their electrons – creating plasma of free electrons and protons, the nuclei of the hydrogen.  Under these conditions hydrogen is converted to helium.  The resulting helium amalgam is smaller in mass than the original (hydrogen) free matter – the excess of this process being given off as heat and light.  That description, I hasten to add, is a gross over-simplification on my part to meet the restrictions of this short article.

Fundamentals: the Sun as a Star

Our Sun is by far the largest object in our solar system, containing more than 99% of solar system’s total mass. Observations of other stars indicate that the Sun is fairly "normal": it has a mass, luminosity and temperature that is somewhere in the middle-to-low end of the observed spectrum. It is also one of about 100 billion similar objects in the Milky Way.  Its characteristics are hard to grasp by earthly values, with a mass of 2 x 10³⁰ kg, an atmospheric temperature of 5500 ^oC and a luminosity of 4x10²⁰ megawatts.

The Sun is mainly composed of hydrogen and helium (~75% and ~25% by mass, respectively), with traces of heavier elements synthesized by past generations of stars in the solar neighbourhood.  These heavier elements are the main constituents of the inner terrestrial planets in the solar system; the Jovian planets have compositions almost identical to the Sun itself.

The proximity of the Sun to the Earth allows scientists to study phenomena in the solar atmosphere that are too small or too faint to be observed in even the nearest star to our own.  (The Curious Team, 1997 - 2010)

Armed with the knowledge that fusion occurs naturally, and the process of fission was ‘accidentally discovered’ by radio-chemists Otto Hahn and Fritz Strassmann in 1938 – whilst in the course unrelated experiments - I wondered where fission might occur spontaneously in nature. 

Unbelievably, it appears that 1.5 billion years ago - here on Earth - a natural nuclear fission reaction took place.  The site of this natural reaction was discovered 1972, in Oklo, Gabon, Africa - the area pictured above.  Scientists estimate the fission reaction continued on-and-off for hundreds of thousands of years!  Whilst it was active, this natural process produced nuclear waste similar to the wastes produced by the man-made nuclear fission reactors of today

. 

References:

Cohen, G. A. (1976, July 1). A Natural Fission Reactor. Retrieved January 8, 2010, from Scientific American: http://www.ans.org/pi/np/oklo/.

Rhodes, R. (1986). The making of the atomic bomb. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Team, T. C. (1997 - 2010). Ask an astronomer web site. Retrieved January 8, 2010, from Cornell University: http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/sun.php#questions.

Team, T. 9. (1998). Atomic alchemy basic fusion. Retrieved January 7, 2010, from Thinkquest 98: http://library.thinkquest.org/17940/index.html.

Where There's Life - A short story

Davy Jones - 2006

Foreword

A short story dedicated to the abused and forgotten youths caged in the Juvenile Justice Systems of the ‘civilised world’.  The majority of these boys and girls have predictable futures.  They will go one of two ways – they will either become institutionalised recidivists or they will die young.

                                                                            

As this day dawns, it is the last, no tomorrow, only past.

The mantra throbbed over and over inside his scrambled brain.  He was soaking wet - chilled to the bone.  Ragged clothes clung spitefully to his neglected body – accentuating his poor physical condition.  He'd never felt so alone; totally, inexplicably, desolate. Wild thoughts shot through the confusion.  Where the fuck am I? This place is like some sort of bad dream.  I’ve had this dream before, before, before…  He shivered uncontrollably.

                                                           

‘G’day Robbie boy; finally made it then.’  The rich, mellow voice, was oddly out of place in the dirty, run-down, backstreet.

‘Shit bro!  Youse’ scared the shit out of me. Where’d the fuck you come from?’  Rob was visibly shaking.  A streetwise boy, he was always watchful, guarded - deeply aware and fearful of those around him; tonight though, he was out of control, twitching fitfully, jumping at every sound.

The shadowy figure seemed to solidified out of the surrounding darkness; taking time it seemed, to consider a reply.

 ‘Where’d I spring from?  Oh, you know… I hang around here and there, waiting for kids just like you to pass through.”

The stranger’s relaxed manner disturbed the ragged youth.  ‘What are ya, a fuckin’ wog poofta’ or something?  Fuckin’ rock spider,’ his rising voice betrayed his growing panic.

‘Oh, come on Rob, it’s not like that; it’s just me’ job.  Y’know, it’s like, what I do for a living’, retorted the old man, mimicking the boy’s street slang. 

‘And, at the risk of blowing me’ own trumpet, I’d say I’m pretty good at it too,’ the old man added thoughtfully, scratching at a stubbly grey beard.

Rob rocked back and forth, hugging himself, rubbing his bony track-marked arms nervously.  His bulging, watery blue eyes, flicked nervously left and right, looking for a way out – a quick escape.  He felt unsteady, light-headed and stupid.  His dirty, tangled blonde hair, hung damply over his grime-smudged face; a weeping sore glistened darkly on his quivering top lip.  ‘What’s your name then fuck-head?’

The reply was cool, ‘I guess it’s ok if you call me Stone.  Most folks prefer to be on some sort of first name terms.  It makes things a bit friendlier – usually,’ he added.

He trusted no one, especially this old cunt - a stranger - who knew his name; the old man reminded Rob too much of the pigs – the pigs who always made his life a fuckin’ misery.

‘Fuckin’ cold corner you got here ol’ man,’ Rob peered blindly into the depressing, unfamiliar street; his teeth chattered incessantly.  He could see very little past the subdued circle of cold blue light that placed them centre stage in the surreal backstreet.  A low, penetrating wind, stirred the chill night air.  ‘Where’s that fuckin’ wind coming from?’

Stone smiled; he looked purposely both ways.  A harbour fog rolled thickly, lazily, across the black, damp roadway.

‘I suppose it’s what you’d call a through draught.  Blows from all the way down there,’ he pointed a stabbing finger away into the darkness,  ‘right on through to way up there,’ he turned, wagging a thick finger up the road towards the uncertain predawn light.

Rob stared blindly into the rolling fog, its swirling dampness trapping him in a grey death-shroud. 

His shoulders slumped; he wondered vaguely if he could find his way back.  The piercing far-off moan of a mighty foghorn echoed indistinctly from everywhere and nowhere.

‘Fuckin’ dark down there man!  Can’t see a fuckin’ thing.  No street lamps or nothin’, Rob muttered.

‘Bit like life then Robbie boy.  No matter which way you look, you can’t see the wood for trees; the unknown in front and confusion behind.  One minute you’re travelling fine and the next - bang,’ he clapped.  ‘Shit happens!  Yesterday’s history – tomorrow’s a mystery!’

‘You can say that again.  Just live for today, that’s me, Rob replied, half-heartedly.  ‘You know,’ he said quietly, ‘there was a time I was really struggling; it was winter; the weather was lousy.  I was starving all the time, and had nowhere to doss down.  This bitch, a good sort, came up and asked if I needed a place in a refuge for a few nights.  Mate, I was stoked; all me’ problems solved. 

The second night two other boys came in; young blokes I sort’a knew them from the street.  One was a real head-banger – fuckin’ psycho.  Anyway, I was feeling ok, me’ belly was full y’know; I was warm and dry for a change.  We sat around after our pizza that night watchin’ some telly, just yappin’ you know.  I knew something funny was up; the other two kept getting their heads together – whispering, y’know, body language stuff. 

Then the shit hit the fan; Mick, the fuckin’ head-case goes around behind the bitch and starts stabbing fuck out of her with a steak knife.  Scream mate, you never heard nothing like it; and all the time he’s stabbin’ – stabbin’ – and he’s laughing like a fuckin’ idiot mate.  The screams got all bubbly and blood shot out of her mouth.  She was thrashing around trying to stop the knife – stop the stabbin’.  There was fuckin’ blood everywhere – everywhere mate.  I just sat watchin’ – watchin’ like a dumb shit; it was like, unreal - slow motion.  I was just thinking all the time - fuck it, there goes me’ bed for tonight. 

They went through her pockets, took the few bucks she had, and her car keys.  Then they ran – the bastards’! 

He shook his head sadly.  ‘I just sat there like a fuckin’ idiot for ages.  Then I sort of woke up and decided I’d be better off someplace else before any of the other staff came back.  I stepped over her body mate.  I slipped in her blood, and fell on me’ hands; it was fuckin’ ‘orrible – blood all over me.  I got out of there as quick as you like.  Ended up sleeping with some derros that night, the bastards were so pissed they didn’t notice me anyway. 

Thought I’d got out of there ok for a few days; then the pigs came looking for me.  I went down for that mate!  It cost me another year in lock up – and what for mate, what for?  I didn’t do a fuckin’ thing - I told them so!  No one believed me; no one fuckin’ cared; another year in lock up.  And the nightmares of that screaming bitch and blood, blood, blood.’  His voice became shrill, ‘how fair was that mate – I ask you?’ Stone’s bushy grey eyebrows arched; he smiled oddly, scratching at his fat girth.

Weighing his options carefully, he considered - some decisions were easy - other times they weren’t.  Some folks are born winners; others just born losers.

‘Think you know the streets do you kid?  Sounds like you’ve been living rough a long time.’  Stone spoke calmly, keeping the conversation flowing, questioning Rob’s unspoken secrets.

‘That’s me’ home, most times.  I know where I’m at on the streets.  I can look after me’self y’know.  Gotta watch fuckin’ do-goodin’ ol’ pricks like you, is all.  I can make more cash in a night on ‘the wall’, or selling a bit of dope, than you make in a fuckin’ month’.

 Rob shuffled in circles, an immature human wreck - a parody - shadow-boxing harmlessly at the old man.

‘Guess you might be right there Rob.  What about your parents though, don’t they worry about you?’

Rob burst into a hollow imitation of laughter, a phlegm-filled noise.  ‘Parents, mate.   What the fuck are you on about,’ he barked?  ‘My old lady was a fuckin’ slag.  A fuckin’ druggie hoe!  Me’ old man, I wouldn’t even know who he was; some off-his-face dropkick, a fuckin’ loser just like her!  Probably shagged her stupid then punched her fuckin’ lights out.  That’s what she liked; the rough stuff.  Bet she didn’t even know his name.’  Rob looked around wildly for something to smash.

 ‘A bit down on poor old mum and dad, hum,’ Stone muttered under his breath.  He knew Rob’s sort.  Stone had spoken to a lot of ‘Robs’ over the years.

 ‘What’s the best thing about your life, you reckon, Rob?’  The direct question confused the boy.

‘Don’t know really,’ he shrugged?  Nothing as far as I can see!  It’s a waste of fuckin’ time; a fuckin’ black hole mate, a deep, shit black hole,’ the words hung like an accusation between them.  He ranted on, ‘get off on some ‘H’, or crack, shit like that maybe; smoke some yarndi, you know, puff a little gunja.  Just getting lost mate, just getting lost and out of me’ skull.  That’s what’s fuckin’ best about my life.’ 

He gripped a make-believe joint between his grimy yellow fingers, inhaled slowly - deeply - then exhaled with an exaggerated ‘ahhhh’.

‘What about when you were a kid; surely there must have been something you liked?   Stone waited for an answer; gazing steadily into the boy’s shifty eyes, holding him like a terrified beast in a roo-shooter’s lamp.

Rob broke the invisible bond and cast his eyes down at his scruffy trainers, he muttered, ‘Nothing mate.  I told you; all I remember about being a kid is being fuckin’ battered every way and having me’ fuckin’ head beaten in regular as clockwork.  I cried a lot, you know, I remember crying all the time.  They used me as a fuckin’ ashtray mate – a fuckin’ ashtray!  Do you know what that feels like - ‘a’?   He lifted his T-shirt revealing his pitifully scarred body.  ‘Snot and tears, snot and fuckin’ tears, and fuckin’ hungry all the time’, his body shook with pent-up emotion, ‘I thought life was like that for everyone mate, like that was just normal.  It took me a while to sort it out.  By the time I got round to working it out I wasn’t a fuckin’ kid any more,’ bitterness etched his face giving him a look well beyond his years.

Stone nodded, his shoulders relaxed, his manner softened as he encouraged Rob to continue.

‘Do you know something ol’ man; I never had a fuckin’ birthday or Christmas nor nothin’.  Not fuckin’ one!  Stupid thing was, cos’ I never had anything, I never really missed it.  How stupid is that, ‘a?’

‘What about other kids?  Didn’t you see what they had; how their lives were?’

‘Didn’t like other kids mate.  Didn’t have fuck all to do with other kids.  Other kids never liked me neither; said I stank and was too fuckin’ dirty.  Always wagged school anyway – fuckin’ hated it mate – school and fuckin’ teachers.  Just me and me’ sister mostly, till she died anyway.’

Both were silent now.  Rob gave a deep sigh and stared blankly into a dark, hate-filled past.

‘We was so cold that last night you know, me and her.  We just laid under a stinkin’ rag of a fuckin’ blanket, holding each other; tryin’ to stay warm.  She always looked after me like that.  She’d got some stuff that night and shot up.  It took away the pain she said.  Turned out to be a dirty kit!’ His voice dropped, ‘I can remember her eyes mate, all glazed over and gone to another place.  That’s all she had in life too; stupid fuckin’ cow!  I didn’t know it was bad stuff ‘a’ – it wasn’t my fuckin’ fault mate!’

He hawked deeply and spat green phlegm onto the cracked pavement. 

‘I woke up next to her fuckin’ corpse in the morning, didn’t I?  Cold she was - stiff - and so cold.  There was no one to tell; just me and a fuckin’ corpse for company, hiding, scared shitless, in a broken down squat.  Fifteen she was, mate, sodding fifteen years old, that’s all!’

Rob cried then, hot fat salty tears streaked his grimy face.  His emaciated body convulsed in spasms as the aching memory wracked him through and through.

 The moment of weakness caught him off guard.  He realised, too late, what he had done and quickly slammed shut the emotional shutters, hiding his raw pain from public view.

‘Time the old slag dragged ‘er arse back it was too fuckin’ late,’ he shouted.

‘Do you know what we did then old man?  What we always did when things got too messy - what we always did,’ he rushed on not waiting for an answer.  ‘We did a fuckin’ runner.  Just up and left her there for someone else to find, and clean up.  How d’you like that old man, ‘a, how d’you like that?’

‘How old were you then Rob?’  The question restored the boy’s flagging spirit.

‘Don’t really know mate.  I guess I was seven - eight years old, maybe,’ he shrugged.

Momentarily, they stood, companions - friends in adversity - gazing in thoughtful silence towards the distant, growing light.  Rob shook his head sadly.  ‘At least I made it a bit longer than she did.’

‘How old are you now Rob?’

‘Nearly eighteen I think mate, nearly fuckin’ eighteen.  Soon be legal for boozing and everything ‘a’.  What a fuckin’ joke init’.  I been shooting up, boozing, smoking dope, you know, since I was about ten.  The old cow taught me well.  Everything she knew.  Anything you can stick in your body, the old slag knew all about it.’  Rob’s hacking cough echoed around the dim back streets.

Stone scratched at his cheek.  He looked perplexed.  ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, y’know,’ he said quietly.

Rob looked at him, panic growing in his eyes.

‘What do you mean old man,’ he skittered backwards, ‘you’re a pig or something ain’t ya?’

‘Nothing like that Rob, nothing like that at all.  But, like I said, I’ve got a job to do.  That’s why I’m standing here now.’

The alarm on Rob’s face was evident.  He wasn’t sure whether to turn and run or stand his ground and fight.  Trouble was, he couldn’t run, and he certainly didn’t feel like fighting!

‘Look son, it’s my job to guide you on your way, see.  Mostly, I just have two choices, you go that-a-way,’ he pointed towards the dark end of the street, ‘or you go that-a-way.  One road leads ‘down’, and the other ‘up’, as you might say.  You sure ain’t a good candidate for ‘up’!  Trouble is you’ve been through hell already!  So, what am I supposed to do with you?’

Stone looked uncertainly at Rob; shrugging his shoulders in resignation he muttered half to himself, ‘Oh well, you never know,’ he said with a resigned sigh.  ‘Where there’s life there’s hope, as they say’.

                                   

Rob heard the siren’s growing wail, and then the dull slap of running feet; urgent voices, shouting.  He felt the cool plastic facemask and sucked life-giving oxygen into his starved lungs.  Strong hands massaged the frail rib cage above his heart.  He was vaguely aware of someone pulling the empty needle from his puncture-scarred arm.

‘I think he’ll make it,’ said a woman - a stranger with a kind voice and gentle hands.

Warmth seeped through his frigid body; his pale blue eyes flickered open briefly.  The dazzling light blinded him; he squeezed his eyes shut quickly.

 The stretcher straps tightened, and he heard the rustle of the insulated blanket.  Then he was gently floating.

The ambulance bumped roughly over a median strip, the siren wailing its vital message. Lights, blue and red strobed gallantly through Sydney’s early morning traffic snarl.

Another winter’s day dawned cold, crisp and bright.

As this day dawns, it’s not the last, just tomorrow, and the past.  The mantra throbbed over and over inside his scrambled brain.

END